Life should be like a yummy chocolate-coated strawberry.

oh dear

I think there's an expiry date to love. And I think I'm in deep shit.

so sad

I wonder how she feels when she realized that the expired love of his life is in so many ways better than her. I wonder why he even goes for her. I wonder what he sees in her. I wonder if she can even ever replace her. I wonder if they will last.

time to work on the handwriting

I couldn't resist buying these lovely letter pads the other day. Now, I'm wondering who I should write to.

calling mr kettle

I like to visit the sites of other people. Every now and then, there are always new things to read about and pretty pictures to wow over. And when there isn't any post for the day, I always wonder why.

of hope and love

Hello Sarah. I can't wait for you to grow up a little. Just a little. So that I wouldn't age a lot.

last day of the year

It hasn't been a terrific year. The way 04 is ending doesn't make it any better. It's a sombre mood around. People are grieving. Even the sky's weeping. There's much to talk about here but nothing worth mentioning. All other stuffs seem so frivolous. Everything else pales in comparison.

27th december

I was pretty surprised when I first received this organiser. The first date to kickstart the new year shows 27th December. Coincidentally, this is my favourite day of the year. I wonder whether it is a sign. A sign that a new beginning awaits me not on the first day of 2005 but on this particular day itself. So, as from today onwards, I shall resolve to be a less lazy, more disciplined and better person. May my life be filled with more happines, prosperity and peace.

what a christmas

This is really strange. The days before Christmas were filled with merry carols coming from a few blocks away. Every day when I'm sitting in front of my computer, the left ear would hear a different tune from that shopping mall. The music never stopped. And now that Christmas is finally here, there is not a single sound coming from there at all. I have been straining my ears hoping to catch something for the last 3 hours but I thought I heard nothing.

mad and madder

I think I'm going mad. My brain isn't functioning well these days. I wonder why. The day before, I ordered minced meat noodles from my favourite uncle. He asked me, "Yao bu yao la?" Immediately, I shook my head. I thought he was asking me whether I wanted lard. I ended up eating noodles with tomato sauce and extra vinegar (my usual request) in it. Super bad combination. And come to think of it, uncle doesn't speak English. Why would he ask me about lard? Today was no better. I was smsing Lousyboy halfway when suddenly I thought I forgot to bring the phone out. How could the thought enter my head when the phone was in my hand all along? I was struck momentarily. I wonder what's happening to me. Could the central body committee have decided to stage an end of the year cleaning of the brain without informing me? Could it be the brain and the hands aren't on talking terms? Or maybe it's just me. They must have not liked me anymore. So sad.

demoralizing month of the year

It's confirmed. I can't drive to save my life. I feel like an idiot. No, I shall not blame the vito.

die

A sudden realization hit me. I realize I forgot how to paint.

in the face of reality

I attended a workshop on how to teach creatively on Saturday. All of which lasted for a mere 2-hour. I wish it could have been longer. There was only that much that could be taught. I am not quite sure whether I will be able to teach creatively thereafter but I certainly enjoyed the class. It allowed me to be a student once more. I love that feeling. Being in a class of people, taking notes, trying my best to pay attention to the teacher, stifling a few yawns here and there, daydreaming a bit, having drawing exercises... All of it. It made me realize how much I miss being in school. There is so much that I know not of and so much that I still need to learn. I wonder what I was doing all those years as a student. How much of those taught went into my head and remained there? Sadly, I doubt it was a lot. I know I could have done better but mediocrity was my best friend then. It is not so much about the grades but more to do with the amount of knowledge that slipped pass me. Those knowledge that I threw away without realizing or perhaps recklessly. I could have been a better person but I am not. With regrets and guilt, an ignorant fool wrote this.

:: And to make myself feel better, I am posting what I did during the workshop. Relishing every moment of it.

11 months just passed me by.

This is so scary. It is the last month of the year. Just like that.

work in progress

Dear everyone, wicked wonderland is in a bad shape now. But please do not be scared off. This is just for the time being till little miss pea figures out the magic concoction behind those damned html coding. For a start, she is an idiot when it comes to anything digital. But she refuses to give in to those instant templates that are readily available. So here starts her arduous journey of mindless trials and errors in the world of hypertext markup language. She will not give up easily. She is determined to cross all hurdles that come her way. Please give her your blessings. She needs it. And do come back every now and then. She loves company. Yours sincerely, little miss pea.

for lost time

I chanced upon them under my table today while searching for my dentist's number. They were drawn some time ago. I remember that was after a coffee session with Jodi and Sock. About how we drew when we were kids. Or was it how kids drew when they were still kids...I forgot. Sad to say, I doubt I ever fully made use of my supposedly fertile imagination when I was that age. What a waste. So for lost time's sake, I came up with this. I wasn't really thinking when I drew it. Here they are. Presenting the little girl and Mister Wind.

blown

:: appropriated from a t-shirt

Dear lousyboy, here's an effective way to get rid of the white flakes on your head now and forever. Best regards, little miss pea.

wonderlanders

i wish i know her name

*she was on her way out. all dressed up. wearing her favourite pair of walking shoes. wanting to watch time and the whole world pass her by. only to be met by some muddle-headed strangers who mistook her for their long lost friend the moment they saw her.*

This is her first screen appearance. She has been living in the pages of my notebook for some time. I was thinking of painting her out. In fact, I tried. That was a long time back. Now, I have a couple of canvases of her coated with dust. They were somehow never resolved. And along the way, she starts to appear in my drawings. Her looks have changed a bit but the rest is more or less the same. Drawing her is more fun. There is a kind of spontaneity and I think she is happier too. I am pretty hesitant on having her done digitally if truth be spoken. I think she looks stiff, awkward and uncomfortable. And I wish she has a name.

the grand master

Little miss pea has been hard at work. Which explains for her absence for the 10-odd days. Interestingly, she admits that it was a thoroughly enjoyable experience minus the lousy company of one. It was fear factor stunt 79 and it was fun. No one shall call her timid anymore. Not even lousyboy who claimed that he can climb the grand scaffold master at lightning speed. Faster than anyone of them. Little miss pea rolled her eyes. Over and again. She will miss the grand master whom no one dared to provoke for he lashed out his anger in the most unforgiving way. He was a pillar of strength and she felt safe in his arms. So long, grand master.